RE: Establishing Privacy - How Much Should Be Posted Here?

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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Sun Oct 10, 2004 8:45 am

RE: Establishing Privacy - How Much Should Be Posted Here?

The issue comes up frequently here on the board about how to establish and maintain one's privacy. I am referring to tactics and methods that can be employed to legally help prevent a stalker from finding their victim.

Common sense things are often discussed, such as unlisted/unpublished phone numbers, to prevent being located by "reverse lookup", and to prevent harassing calls, etc.

There are a variety of other things that can be done to keep one's name from being connected to one's physical location.

So far, I've been reluctant to post some of this info because we know that stalkers lurk here on the boards. I certainly don't want to make things easy for them. Instead, posters are encouraged to do thier own research.

However, my thinking is that if stalkers are using the appropriate search terms to find this board, then they are also finding this information anyway.

Victims, who may not be as adept at finding informationon the internet, may not locate the information as easily.

I am wondering what some of you all think about either posting this kind of information, or not.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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paranoid

Posts: 1915

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2003 1:03 pm

Location: in the library

Post Sun Oct 10, 2004 7:07 pm

i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY pm IS DISABLED HERE. i REFER PEOPLE TO woops, sorry about the caps. I refer people to www.saveyourspirit.org to PM, as I think after a while youcan get a feel for people, and trust them a bit. Like Chazzy, and probably easier, anyone looking for me can find me. I don't have that much to hide. Ohters here seem consistent. IM and other mesaaging may be helpful.

But if I wanted to hide, I wouldn't look to a public bboard, I'd look to the local DV cop, or some other specific source.

So, I guess I'm voting for not that much info posted. I just don't want creeps having an easy time of it.
Virginal Cindy the upright and stalwart
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Southern Girl

Posts: 284

Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 2:56 pm

Location: Survivors: A Garden of Glass Flowers

Post Mon Oct 11, 2004 11:37 am

I think I tend to agree. Some info, but not the whole shebang, so to speak.
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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:35 pm

Thank you both for your responses.

I will interpret the lack of any opposing opinions as a sign that most everyone agrees with you both, and I will refrain from posting detailed information accordingly.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:36 pm

See what happens when I ask for permission?

;)
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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Christina

Posts: 39

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2004 8:16 pm

Location: The Left Coast

Post Wed Oct 13, 2004 2:32 am

Thanks for asking! :)

I am very adept at finding information online - I've been in the computer industry (specifically Internet industry) for 10+ years now and even with my "superhero search powers" the information has been difficult to locate (a good thing no doubt). Obviously the more info. we give them (creeps), the less power we wield in keeping ourselves safe.

I wish there were some way of knowing or being able to sort of "read" people after awhile. I.e. you know, "yes, this person is obviously a good candidate to receive this information". The real downside to this whole thing is that someone who really NEEDS the information isn't getting it. Even the DV people I've been working with are not totally in the loop and have advised ideas/directions which, by security experts opinions, are fairly outdated or ill-advised. The DV counselor I met with today had NO idea that the general public could so easily search n. changes and other legal paperwork within our county. I think she was pretty horrified by what I told her. Hell, I'm pretty horrified by it myself. It's made me afraid to own property (without a trust) or submit any sort of legal document whatsoever. Yes, I understand the need for lawyers/courts, etc. to get this information but the info. is there for *anyone's* taking - no checks, no balances as to who is doing the inquiries and why.

As someone who is just now finding out about methods that could legally be used to prevent a stalker from finding me, I must say that I would greatly appreciate the information. It's a real Catch 22 - how much do you "give away" without giving away your own security and safety and those of others to come after you.

Just my late-night ramblings... :) (See what happens when you ask permission? lol)
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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:53 am

quote: "Even the DV people I've been working with are not totally in the loop and have advised ideas/directions which, by security experts opinions, are fairly outdated or ill-advised."

I felt this was worth repeating.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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paranoid

Posts: 1915

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2003 1:03 pm

Location: in the library

Post Wed Oct 13, 2004 12:36 pm

Bottom line, we have to become our own experts, in this crime. Lord knows my ex will spend the time, energy, and he is much more devious than I am. I think things in plain sight are all there is...
Virginal Cindy the upright and stalwart
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~evilanne

Posts: 2860

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2003 10:50 pm

Post Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:48 pm

Bryan....lack of disagreement doesn't always mean agreement. I believe knowledge is power and some information is hard to find. I know there is a book out there on hiding in America or something along those lines that I came across at one point but I couldn't find it when I did a search awhile back. I do agree that there is some information that shouldn't be broadcasted but that would be how to stalk type stuff like how to call without being identified. We all know *67, but those calls are easily blocked. Dip could give classes on how to call to harass by phone as I haven't figured out how he has done some stuff but there is some stuff he hasn't figured out yet either and I am not going to give him ideas in that department. But information on how to stop a stalker or protect yourself, I believe would be relevant. I am not sure that would help the stalkers in any way. I would rather you provide good solid advice helpful to victims even with some risk that there is a down side.

Most stalkers are in denial and wouldn't think of visiting this type of board unless they were searching for something to get them out of legal hot water (this is how I believe Dip came upon this site). I know we do get some through here on occasion but I would like to know any legal means for dealing with stalkers.
Happy Trails :)
evilanne
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sur5er31198

Posts: 1090

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 9:45 pm

Location: hopefully a few steps ahead of my stalker

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:48 am

You know Bryan, I would go ahead and post information on how to hide from your stalker. With the victims that I worked with, sad to say, it was the perp who was better educated when it came to the laws and these type of things. Or, set up a yahoo email account to handle requests for this information...after you have had a feel of the victim on the board and know if they are legit.

As Christina stated, a lot of victims rely on the dv shelters/advocates for this type of information, only to find that it is outdated....which can be dangerous for a victim who believes that they are completely safe because they are doing things exactly as the shelter/advocate told them to.

It is more difficult now for a victim to hide in the 21st century, than when I worked with victims in the 80's and 90's...because the advancement of techology, is both a blessing and a hinderence for victims. You just don't know how adept the perp is at the computer....or who the perp can find/hire to hunt down the victim. :roll:
An informed victim is an empowered victim enroute to recovery.
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halcion69

Posts: 171

Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:00 pm

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:22 pm

Bryan,

I would appreciate it if you would post some info. My ex is a lot more computer savy them I. I suspect he is getting a lot of information online; therefore, i'm careful in terms of what i post.

I know there are a lot of things i don't know. Anyway, I appreciate as much knowlege as i can get.
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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:24 pm

Well, it is a good thing I didn't want a consensus, or anything. ;)

Any other comments/discussion are appreciated.

However, at this time, I am leaning towards posting additional info.... then after it has been up for awhile, it could be deleted so that at least it isn't just hanging out there in cyberspace.

Any thoughts on that, maybe?

That way it is sort of there when the question comes up, but it isn't there indefinately.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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sur5er31198

Posts: 1090

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 9:45 pm

Location: hopefully a few steps ahead of my stalker

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:32 pm

Bryan,

Great idea about posting and then deleting....why not pick a day of the week to post and then keep it up for a few hours and then delete. Keep the info on Word, so you only have to copy and paste to the board.
An informed victim is an empowered victim enroute to recovery.
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halcion69

Posts: 171

Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:00 pm

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:58 pm

Bryan,

I think that's a good idea. :)
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paranoid

Posts: 1915

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2003 1:03 pm

Location: in the library

Post Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:32 pm

post to someone, and delete as they answer? You could save it as a word document, to save time, and ask for a reply. We've used that system before here.

Yep, IMO, never assume silence = consensus.
Virginal Cindy the upright and stalwart
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bryan1656

Posts: 207

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am

Post Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:31 am

It'll have to be a back-burner project, either way.

I've been trying to get a booklet, or hand-out that I could give some of my victims. If I were to develop this, I could cut and paste from that as issues came up, and then delete sensitive info after the persons who needed it got the info.

I'd have to get it all down in writing first, though, which will take some time.

Until then, I'll play it by ear.

Its difficult. I don't want to do anything to make it easy for the stalkers who might lurk here, but I also hate to see victims not get good information that could help protect them and improve thier quality of life.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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sur5er31198

Posts: 1090

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 9:45 pm

Location: hopefully a few steps ahead of my stalker

Post Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:10 am

Bryan,

If you need any help with your booklet/hand out for crime victims, give me a holler. I wrote the crime victim programs for the police department and prosecutor's office in Michigan. The program for the prosecutor's office included a booklet for the crime victims (break down of the criminal justice process; step by step guide of how a case is prosecuted; step by step process of filling out a protective order/obtaining a protective order; legal definitions; crime victim rights; etc.). 8)
An informed victim is an empowered victim enroute to recovery.

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