Another Nieghbor obsession

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laura Jones

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Sun Aug 04, 2002 2:26 am

HI, I think that I am being stalked by my next door neighbo

HI, I think that I am being stalked by my next door neighbor. Our houses are about 25 feet apart and my bedroom window is 18 inches from her property line. We both have kids and hers are consantly out on the "city sidewalk" in front of my house harrassing my kids. I have tried the no communication approach, but that is hard if there is an issue with kids, the city, etc.I have called the police and they will do NOTHING .... I am trying to sell and get out, but that may take until next spring. <BR>She brings me and my spouse gifts. She has tried to clean my house with out my permission, because it was "too dirty for her"(I have 7 kids...lol) She has disscussed wanting to have sex with me, my spouse and 2 of my older kids!!!!!!!! <BR>2 weeks ago I went to speak with her because her 9 year old tried to shoot my 10 year old with a bow and arrow. She screamed for me to get out of her yard and her life...then as I tried to leave she attacked me and stuck my head in the crook of her arm and tried to knee me in the ribs...then she kept telling me that she loved me and that I just couldn't allow any one to love me...then she started talking about how I treat my husband "like crap" and how she could treat him better. Then she called and tried to get me to counsel her and her oldest son( I am a reverend)because he wants to move back in the house.. I said no, and then 3 days later she comes over as I am cleaning my Garage and traps me inside saying that she needs me to go to a bar with her and explain to some woman why they can't have sex together.Then she tore up my daughter's herb garden because she can see it from her deck and it looked like "crap" <BR> <BR>The cops do nothing and I do not know what else to do..I am trying to ,move...but like I said..... <BR> <BR>Thank you for any answers you can help me with.... <BR>Laura
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Rex

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Tue Aug 06, 2002 4:57 am

Laura why do you say this woman is stalking you?

T

Laura why do you say this woman is stalking you? <BR> <BR>This woman sounds very messed up! Sounds like she is very confused, and doesn't know what she wants. <BR> <BR>When she destroyed your daughter’s herb garden. If you have proof that she did that you should be able to press charges for that. That is destruction of property. <BR> <BR>I think the best thing you can do is try and keep things from escalating as much as you can. Avoid her as much as you can. Make your family very aware of how odd her behavior is and have them keep away from them too. Talk to your children and make it clear they should avoid them as much as possible. And get away from this neighbor from hell!!! <BR> <BR>Take care Laura!!
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Rex

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Tue Aug 06, 2002 4:59 am

One more thing Laura!

Keep a journal of what is go

One more thing Laura! <BR> <BR>Keep a journal of what is going on. Write down in the journal what has happened in the past, and keep track of what happens in the future.
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laura Jones

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Wed Aug 07, 2002 7:13 am

Well Rex,
I will be a little more detailed about some o

Well Rex, <BR>I will be a little more detailed about some of the behavors. <BR> For two & one half years She has brought gifts to me or my spouse almost daily, sometimes 10 times a day. Wine, wine glasses, floor rugs(5'x7'), An entire bedroom ensemble, because she said that I didn't know how to decorate for "romance"? A baggy of Mariajuana. Night gowns, perfume. She brought 100$ emerald earrings to my daughter. on and on We have refused them, of course. When I met her she was not the religion that I am..After she found out our religion, she was the "same religion" within a couple of weeks. <BR>When I would leave the house to go somewhere she would come over and offer my spouse rub downs or to do the laundry or start cleaning my house. I came home from the hospital once and she was cleaning my house, and she had been through my bedroom. She had conned my kids into letting her in. <BR>She will show up or call at all hours of the day or night to try to have me help her "counsel" her and some other person she is having an issue with.I have stopped answering her calls and I turn off the ringer at night. I had changed my number twice, but she has always found out. <BR>She has signed her children up to volunteer at the same places that my childern were first..and she has never signed up her childeren for anything like that before. <BR>I will go to the grocery store, she is there. I go to the thrift store, she is there. <BR> She started going to my chiropractor.She told my chiropractor that I had recommened her. I NEVER mentioned who I saw. <BR>She has claimed to have TB and 2 angioplasties. She called here every couple of hours about all three of these"diseases "and wanted me to take care of her. <BR>She has even called my ex husband to ask permission to adopt my 13 year old. He lives in a different state. <BR>She was constantly talking about "taking our relationship to the next level."to anyone that would listen to her. I have made it clear that this will not happen. The last time was the day before she attacked me. <BR> As I said, I had to go over to her home to speak to her spouse about the bow and arrow issue. She kept going on about how she loved me while she was attacking me. The cops wouldn't do anything because I was in her yard.She calimed that I came over to attack her. <BR>Now that I completely cut off our family from them, she sends her kids over here all day trying to get me to come over. They will stand on the city side walk in front of my door..."Laura, My mom wants you...you need to come over"...etc...we ignore them. <BR>She has tried to show up in my yard. I ask her to leave or ignore her. <BR> Last year She would show up at my work about every other day. I have a seasonal retail store I run and I caught her in the storeroom "reorganizing" everything. Now I own my own business and I have art shows that I go to on the weekend. She shows up at any of the ones that are within so many miles of my home. I could go on and on. <BR>I called the police, about the herb garden. She came over at 3 am and did it. She said that she was on her paper routes, even though I saw her do it. They did nothing. <BR>I just started keeping a journal. And I am keeping copies of the police reports too. <BR>I have thought about a restraining order. Her oldest son had one on her, and she attacked him with a knife and stuck it through his hand. <BR> The victim's coordinator at the Court told me yesterday that She has "stalked" her oldest son, and then the gal that owned the house before me..However she has never been charged with anything. The Vc said that is because she never usually crosses "the Line" But no one will tell me what the line is. .She is going to petition for a free restraining order. That is the only way to get the cops to do something about her. Otherwise I would have to wait until she attacks me agian , like in my own yard or in public..That is how it was explained to me. I thank anyone that can give me any advice or ideas.
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Jennifer L.

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Fri Aug 30, 2002 10:27 am

Dear Laura:

I'm back and I have a few question

Dear Laura: <BR> <BR>I'm back and I have a few questions: <BR> <BR>Does she have a spouse living with her? Is he in any way rational? Is there any possibility, if he is normal, to have a conversation with him on the situation with his wife (the history of her instability might help you have leverage with the police)? <BR> <BR>Obviously with 7 children, you are hard pressed to maintain no contact with this neighbour as the children all are forced to interact in one way or another. <BR> <BR>Did this woman continue to stalk the previous owner of your house once he/she had moved? Can you be in touch with the previous owner to investigate this? <BR> <BR>I would recommend you and your family move as soon as possible, stay with friends, family or wherever you can. The only concern would be that if this woman has a history of stalking once the neighbour has moved, then you will need to leave with some care -- making sure no one else in the neighbourhood knows where you are moving (I had to hide the fact that we were moving at all from my child -- he was too young to be forced to keep the information from his friends). <BR> <BR>If it is out of the question to move in temporarily with others while your house is being sold, then evidence gathering will be a priority for you. The cameras, as I suggested, are small these days and inexpensive. If you need to confront your neighbour regarding the children, then I suggest you carry a pocket tape recorder for the interaction. <BR> <BR>Tape recordings are useless in criminal legal proceedings if they were obtained secretly. However, it will be useful to play them for police if you continue to have trouble having them respond to the situation as threatening and serious. <BR> <BR>Hope some of this helps and I really hope you may still pop by the site.
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Jennifer L.

Posts: 0

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 5:00 pm

Post Fri Aug 30, 2002 11:42 am

Dear Laura:

I'm sorry, sometimes with all the

Dear Laura: <BR> <BR>I'm sorry, sometimes with all the discussion threads we miss things. I think Rex may be on holiday. I hope you are still checking this site out from time to time however. <BR> <BR>From what I can see, there are some similarities to my situation. My neighbour was my stalker. I had similar problems, although the police were sympathetic. The bottom line was he had every right to do whatever he pleased on his own property. He could stand there staring at my home and there was nothing that could be done. <BR> <BR>I moved away. I assume you have very little money at your disposal. I found moving away from my stalker very expensive. However, if any family or friends can help you out you need to move now and have the house sell whenever it does. <BR> <BR>Furthermore, you mention that this neighbour stalked the previous owner. Were you ever told by that owner or his/her realtor that the neighbour was unstable, dangerous and had been stalking him/her? <BR> <BR>I would check with a lawyer regarding your rights for full disclosure from the previous owner when you purchased that home and your obligations regarding selling the home to a future owner. It may be absolutely ridiculous on my part, but I would'nt want you to end up sued by the next owner for failing to disclose the harrassment from your neighbour. <BR> <BR>Do you have a lawyer? Where the police may not be able to involve themselves, perhaps a lawyer can point you in the right direction. There are several kinds of restraining orders available to you. <BR> <BR>Please follow Rex's advice and start and maintain a detailed log now. Furthermore, if money allows, consider cameras that monitor your own property and overlook hers. If you had had it on camera how she prevented you from leaving her property in a headlock, the police may have responded very differently. <BR> <BR>With many ex-partner stalkings, police often feel that it is just heightened emotions due to a split. With neighbour stalkings, police can feel it is simply a neighbour dispute. Having a detailed log will take you beyond that "simply a difference of opinion" level pretty quickly. <BR> <BR>I hope these few ideas help. I have to run, but I will get back to you on some other aspects later today.

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