I'm brand new to the forum, which I'm very glad is here. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with a person who is contacting me unwantedly and has been for several years.
A little background. In 2010 I met a guy at church who was very friendly. We talked, and he invited me to stop by his apartment to hang out for a bit, which I thought was fine since I was new to the area and trying to make friends. Incidentally, I'm also a guy in my mid 20s, similar to him, and I'm gay, though I'd been for better or worse trying to "be straight" for a few years. Within a few minutes of being at his house, it becomes stunningly clear that he's trying to seduce me. I was too shocked to react for a few minutes except to try to push him away, but manage to get out of his house safe but very rattled after a few minutes.
For the next few weeks, I tried to forgive him, but I learned very quickly that he would say anything he could to manipulate me. I asked him to stop contacting me, threatening to talk to mutual friends at the church (he's closeted bi, had a girlfriend, etc.). I didn't actually talk to them, but I should have.
Fortunately, I moved a few months later, so he no longer knew my address. However, he continued to write me, text me, and call me. He even had his girlfriend call me to say that she hoped I could come visit them. I would normally not respond, but occasionally I would change tactics, trying to be nice to him and hoping he had changed. I went for a year without answering any messages, and he kept calling.
I recently moved again, but it's gotten no better, maybe even worse. He looked up somewhere my student ID number for grad school, which he sent to me in a text message, and he has started texting me sexually explicit messages.
I've been ignoring him for the past few months, but I don't know what to do to make him stop. He's contacted me through email, facebook, texts, and calls. He has never threatened me, but I'm afraid that if he ever finds out my address that he might come to my house. There is enough information about me online where he could pretty easily figure out my work address. I have not seen him in two years, but he has invited me to come visit him numerous times, and he calls or messages me every few weeks with only occasional and rather cold reciprocation. I do not think that he is physically dangerous now, but I have a lot of trouble understanding his motivations, so I'm not sure. I'm also afraid that he could become dangerous in the future.
Another piece of side information. I do not believe that he is a U.S. citizen, but is rather working in the U.S. after attending grad school here. His employer is either the federal government or a government contractor. Also, he no longer lives in the city where I met him, so we no longer have any active friends in common.
First of all, is this stalking or just some sort of harassment? Second, is there any advice on how to get him to leave me alone?
Thanks for your thoughts. I've really been at a dead-end on what to do.